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Seeing Through the Celestial Camera

12/22/2016

 
I am writing a new story. My soul is the author.
Once upon a time I was audacious, nearly fearless, possibly insane, definitely a loose cannon. I was mining a deep well of unprecedented courage, turning my back on old dreams and expectations, and risking everything on an unknown future because I no longer had anything work hanging onto. 
Anger and having nothing to lose can make one either courageous or reckless – or both.
So, my new story is an almost angry destruction of the old stories that I have been telling myself about what I deserve and what I can have.
It terrifies me to think big, yet nothing I have right now is worth the price of not becoming what I came here to be.
I feel like everything that has stopped me in the past is falling away and now I am facing that big project, the one I have put off so long while dealing with everything and everyone else first. To borrow a phrase from a dear and wise friend, my big project is called “Becoming-My-Greater-Yet-To-Be.”
Yes, it feels daunting, yet for the first time in a few decades, I feel as if there are no longer any obstacles or excuses to stop me from taking action. 
Today I decided to start this blog. I decided to ignore my story that it was too complicated, I wasn’t ready, I didn’t know enough, I didn’t have anything to say, people wouldn’t read it, no one would be affected, and I didn’t deserve to be acknowledged. Old stories from past rejections and childhood injuries. 
I suddenly saw myself through the Celestial Camera. My soul observed Leslie’s human ego telling an old story of self-doubt in an effort to protect her from pain. That story was about survival, staying off the radar, being invisible, and not speaking up.
My soul tells Leslie’s protective ego that self-doubt is not interesting. It is no longer necessary to stay invisible. Leslie is not those stories. Leslie is a whole ‘nuther book all together.
So, I’m letting my soul take over. I am here to tell the story of my divine and audacious being. I am here to live large, sing loud, share wisdom, give up my reasons, swallow my pride, and become, as a dear and wise friend describes it, my “Greater-Yet-To-Be.”
While not totally fearless yet, I am willing to be willing to be fearless. I’ll get used to it.
December 22, 2016
Reflector Eighty-Eight
www.humanddesign4lifemastery.com


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